Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
love makes seman taste better
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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