pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
