When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
