I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
