can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
