i don't like sucking hair
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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