Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
