i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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