sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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