Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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