Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
