Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
