Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
