He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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