Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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