do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
