hotel room ftw
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
