we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club š
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
