somebody snuck up and got me drunk
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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