I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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