she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
