why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
