you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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