I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
