I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
