I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
