I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
