i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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