Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
home. puking in laundry basket.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
