The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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