So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
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