if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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