i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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