i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
