she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
