The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
