just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize