i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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