Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
