Sry I called you an 8
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
