Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
