yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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