I just made out with a guy for $7.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
