I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week