Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed

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  (937): fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed http://tfl.nu/6ylq
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (945)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

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  (434): He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text http://tfl.nu/js3q
  Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

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  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (1034) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl

  (313): View more from Michigan

  you mean his girlfriend

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  (312): he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl (313): you mean his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/d9fr
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

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  (570): i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me http://tfl.nu/vizy
  Replies (38) Good night (6201) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.

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  (631): i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to. http://tfl.nu/8bc1
  Replies (6) Good night (4440) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

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  (515): Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4rik
  Replies (59) Good night (2254) Bad night (6954)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  3some

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You're right, stupid question.

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  (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x
  Replies (21) Good night (10511) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4786) Bad night (1359)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6953) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

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  (401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.

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  (502): It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other. http://tfl.nu/y1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.

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  (616): We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that. http://tfl.nu/hngl
  Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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  (908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.

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  (636): We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard. http://tfl.nu/6ym7
  Replies (0) Good night (820) Bad night (364)

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