Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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