my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize