i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize