4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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