you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
