I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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