Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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