And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize