is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
