Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
