I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
