afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
