Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
