North Korea, Best Korea!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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