You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
