One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
