i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you win again, gameday.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
