So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
