Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
