i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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