used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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