Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
