1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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